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Sometimes it is best to pretend it never happened

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I finally get it back
Well, after at least half a year, I get my Meteor Garden back. I've been wanting it back for a long time now, and honestly, my interest in it has waned a bit. I guess it's because it's been so long since I've seen the last one.

I was expecting it back about a week after I let my friend borrow it. But now it's been so long that I forgot a lot of what happened, so I might just have to start over again. :-/

Something has happened to me because of this. Now I am always afraid of lending out my things to people. I am afraid that I will never get my stuff back, or if I do, it won't be until I lose interest in it.

I felt bad when my friend (who has also been asking to borrow the DVDs for a long time), asked to borrow it after I had finally received them back, I told them that I would like to make a copy before I let her borrow it. It's not that I didn't trust her, it's just that I spent so much money on this thing, and I just wanted to have it back. I also thought I was splitting the price with people. But it didn't turn out that way. It was missing for so long that at one point, I didn't care if they helped pay or not. I just wanted my stuff back.

I get like that sometimes. I mean, I think of myself as a generous person. But sometimes I just feel used.

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Don't worry about it. I'm just glad to have it back. It was my responsibility to go ask him myself. I'm just not the type of person that would go ask for my things back. I am just ignorant and believe I will get it back in a timely manner. Asking for my things back makes me feel like I am an evil person. It makes me feel like I am a materialistic person who doesn't care for anything except my things.

I always hessitate when letting people borrow things. I always think twice and hate the fact that I am losing it for a while. I let somebody borrow my CDs before, and they came back unplayable, which also took a long time to return. And she did admit that she never listened to it except the first day that she borrowed it.

But, even though I hesitate, I always end up letting people borrow it.

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